Bio

I was born in the 60’s. My mother was a young 18-year-old “Pakeha” Scottish/British descendant. My Father, about the same age, is Maori with perhaps some mixed blood.

Back in the day, young Caucasian women who fell pregnant out-of-wedlock were actively encouraged by their families to abort or abandon their offspring. The quicker the better and young women would be herded out-of-town to visit a “Sick Aunt” before anyone in town noticed their predicament. So much for Free Love.

The “Sick Aunt” was in fact a home for unwed pregnant women. Here they would wait out the pregnancy, returning to their homes and families a short time after giving birth. Contact between the young mothers and their babies was not allowed post delivery. Bonding and the associated synaptic connections are not afforded these children.

I don’t think the family pressure was solely because of the mixed race elements however, these were the days of Maori oppression. The indigenous kids would be whacked across the knuckles with a ruler by the teacher if they spoke their native tongue at school and interracial relationships definitely frowned upon. I think that my adoption reflected the families community standing and the customs of that era.

So here I am. An order of Adoption was issued 9 months later and my name changed to Kristin Henzler.

Childhood

My parents adopted me after a number of years of failed pregnancy attempts. They had their first child, a girl, and desperately wanted more or at least one more child to feel they have completed their family.

We left New Zealand when I was 3, living in Fiji, Samoa and Santo- New Hebrides (Vanuatu). Dad worked for BP.  5 years after my adoption when we were living in Fiji, “surprise!” another girl was born. Our family consisted of Mum, Dad and  3 girls. I had a great lifestyle living in the islands. I was speaking the local language within months of arriving in a new country. In Fiji and Samoa I attended a local primary school. In Santo I attended a French-speaking primary school. What’s that saying about all good things? Mum and Dad separated and Mum took us kids back to New Zealand. Culture shock for a feral kid who no longer was free to roam around from sun up to sun down with little more than a pair of knickers on. I didn’t really care that I now had to wear clothes because it was f*ck*ng cold in New Zealand but the woollen jumpers I had to wear made me itch like crazy.

Passport

 

 

Apia Primary School

 

 

Teenage Horror

These years are better kept in the hazy recesses of my mind. As a Daughter… I’m your worst nightmare. I will drag you through anguish, torment and frustration. You will not sleep. You will have an intimate relationship with the local police. Your phone number will most likely be on their frequent caller list. Your daughters charge sheet will be longer than your family tree.  I came to Australia in 1981. A couple of years after I finished high school I decided life was crappy, enrolled myself into a 2 year business course, got a decent job and tried my best to behave.

I don't like school!

I don’t like school!

Married with Kids

I married, changing my last name to Jones and applied for Australian Citizenship. We have 2 girls and a boy. 3 under 5 years. We lived the family life in the burbs. I was busy raising 3 children and holding down a part-time job. He was out doing as many hours as possible to secure our future.  Life was great but it had its struggles. Not long after the birth of my second child I decided I was ready to search for my parents. I was 3 when I was told I was adopted. Mum tells the story of a pregnant visitor sparking my curiosity prompting the inevitable question “was I in your tummy mummy?” I don’t actually remember this. I just know I’ve always known I am adopted.

 

me and kids

 

Bloodline

It took me about 6 weeks to find and correspond with my natural mother through Jigsaw. We have met and I also have met her son/my half-brother.  My natural mother and I continue a long distance relationship however she remains in a strained relationship with her family. I have not met people from her side.

My father married. His wife and children are not aware of my existence. I have not met my father. No contact other than through a 3rd party letting him know I was available to contact if he wishes but I am unsure if he ever got the message. I do have my great grandfathers service records. He was in the 2nd Maori contingent marching into Narrow Neck Camp on the 29th of June, 1915.

Māori troops were initially commissioned as non-combatants on garrison duty in Malta, but in July 1915 they were re-consigned in to Gallipoli after being trained at the Narrow Neck Military Camp in Devonport.The Māori Contingent served in the Sari Bair offensive and the battles for Chunuk Bair and Hill 60. After the Māori Contingent was replenished by the 2nd and 3rd Māori Reinforcements, Godley reorganised the entire New Zealand Expeditionary Force. In February 1916 he merged the Māori Contingent with the Otago Mounted Rifles to form the New Zealand Pioneer Battalion. Each of the four companies in the Battalion consisted of two Māori and two Pākehā platoons. The New Zealand (Māori) Pioneer Battalion was the only division of the New Zealand Expeditionary Force to return home as a complete unit (ref Auckland City Government) I wonder if Private Thomas Campbell is in any of these old pictures I found.

 

Single Parent

The father of my children worked away and we grew apart. There was no big nasty break up or explosive dramas. We simply lost each other along the way and I find myself a young single parent of 3 adolescent children. And here comes Karma to b*tch slap me for the way I behaved as a teenager. I’m single and dealing with TWO teenage girls and a teenage boy. The kids father was/is very active in their lives. He’s a great dad and I respect him enormously. We did have an every other weekend thing going on when he would take the kids but this did depend on his work commitments. I spent the next 6 years, single, and trying to keep my kids alive and out of harms way. During this time I worked part-time and I went back to school, completing a computer course then 2 years obtaining manual and computerised bookkeeping certificates. I then completed 2 years of study receiving a diploma of Business and a diploma of Justice. I really thrived on the Law studies achieving distinctions in all of the qualifying subjects. Who would have thought? Because I was crap at school. Hated it even. Could not spell to save myself (still have trouble spelling).  I had never seen a fraction until I  had to sit the entry exam for the first computer course I did at TAFE. The fraction thing I put down to bad luck really. Moving between countries and education systems I must have just missed that bit. Looking back at some of my school reports perhaps attention on my behalf was also required.

 

And Now

I decided working within the justice system regardless of which side or who you represent was not for me. I didn’t need the agro that comes with it in my life.  I completed a few more short courses to obtain my real estate licences and now work for myself as a property manager. I hold a Real-Estate sales licence but early on found the business dirty and distance myself from the little grubs who call themselves professional. If I understood how dirty real-estate is, I would have gone into Law and been paid a sh*t load more to be wallowing around in the same environment. Now, before the hate mail starts pouring in from offended Lawyers and Real-Estate Agents,… of course there are good people in every occupation but you can’t ignore the facts. And, the facts are Lawyers and Real-Estate agents have a bad reputation for a reason. I actually have a great Lawyer Andrew Burrows. Look him up in Brisbane if you need a Lawyer.

I met my current partner through, get this, an online hook up site. haha I know right, who admits to that! My profile read something like “looking for casual fun, no Klingons” His read “no ties”. We have been living in a casual, no ties yet exclusive relationship for 8 years.

I was given a camera for a birthday in my early teens. I took to it and really was interested but getting the money to develop the photos or accessing the knowledge and equipment to process my own photo’s was beyond my reach.  I keenly took up photography in 2013

Kristin

2016 – Update

During a holiday to New Zealand late 2015 I met my natural father. This unexpected turn of events started here.

Who am I

I am everything that you have read, every experience lived through in this life and perhaps others, mixed in with genetics and spirit.

I had a thought at a young age that if the family were in a sinking boat and only 2 children could be saved, who would the parents save when faced with such a grizzly choice? Without judgement, after all this is an innocent child s reasoning, I faced the fact that human nature would determine  my sisters would be saved and I would save myself. I don’t know, perhaps natural-born children also ponder this idea but I have since been fiercely independent and find it hard to accept help.

I have many acquaintances and a small circle of close friends. Moving around as a child I didn’t sustain any long-term friendships. I was in my 20’s living in Australia before I met and connected with my best friend.

 

60 Responses to Bio

  1. Pingback: Bio | Fluidicthought

  2. Candia says:

    Very interesting. I have a link with Maori ancestry as a great aunt- but back in the 1860s- was, with her husband, Andrew James Bonar, the first European settlers at Kaukapakapa. Her grave is in Helensville. He survived another 20 odd years.
    Their son William was a timber merchant and did business in The Cook Islands and The Marshall Islands as well as Fiji. I think he married the daughter of another timber merchant called Russell and he (R) had married the daughter of a Maori chief. This was a Maori chief who had been honoured by Queen Victoria- rightly, or wrongly, for helping to keep the peace.
    So, somewhere over there I have Maori cousins at some remove, but nevertheless connected!

    Like

  3. Candia says:

    The Scottish saying is: We are all Jock Tamson’s bairns!

    Like

    • we’re all John Thomson’s children. I had to looked it up. I’m always curious as to “saying” origins. Wikipedia notes.. Fife’s Fishing History suggests the small fishing town of Buckhaven may have been one source for this saying

      Like

  4. Wow, that’s an extraordinary life story. Thanks for sharing it. Your mathematics achievement in Form 3 is considerably better than my 19%. I also still have the evidence of my underachievement 50-something years later. 🙂
    I’m looking forward to checking out your photography as I’ve also only recently taken up the hobby which is rapidly turning into an obsession.

    Like

    • Thanks for taking the time to call in. I think my mathematical abilities peaked in Form 3. 🙂 Wow, I’m surprised you have only recently taken up photography. Your photographs have great form and I love your perspective. I know what you mean about obsession. I’m forever muttering away to myself “oh, wouldn’t that make a great shot”

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello Kristin, congratulations on your honesty and best wishes, Phil Stanfield

    Liked by 1 person

  6. drdblogs says:

    Really interesting, engaging bio. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    • Thanks for taking the time to read it Dr D. I really enjoyed putting it together and once the memory gates were opened, the flood was of biblical proportions. 🙂
      I have since embarked on a quest of sorts, sparked during the writing of the Bio that hopefully will take me back to New Zealand to visit my Maori peoples whare rūnanga (meeting house). There are many unofficial adoptions in Maori families, tracing my direct bloodline is becoming quite a challenge. Registered birth records only go back 2 generations on my fathers side.

      Like

  7. Intriguing and extraordinary life story! Honest and straight forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What an interesting person you are. Proof indeed, if it were needed, that a less than stellar childhood does not necessarily condemn a person to a mundane, mediocre life. Good on you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for stopping in Keith. I know it’s easy to tell someone who is not happy with their life to change things, but I truly believe it’s worth facing the uncertainty and fear of the unknown to seek out happiness and fulfilment. This life is too short to miss out on the good stuff don’t you think?

      Like

      • I’m with you 100% there. I have turned down a few opportunities which, given my time again, I hope I would accept. I make a point, though, of having no regrets about my past choices. The totality of my life so far has led me to where I am now. Had I done anything differently in my past, I would now be in a different place, and although it would probably be every bit as good, it would be different. I am very happy with where I am now.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Absolutely… No Regrets! 🙂 I had a nasty break to my leg and spent about 14 months recovering. Not that I would want to go through that again but if that didn’t happen I would not have gone on the path that that took me on and would not be where I am now.. Funny how things turn out.

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Hello Kristin, thank you very much for your likes of my posts. Another blogger friend just contacted me to say that he ‘can’t get onto my links’. Have you had any problem playing the audio of my posts? Whenever I initially play the audio file I have to ‘load’ the beginning of it a few times to create sufficient buffer so the audio doesn’t clip (because the track plays faster than it loads) and I am wondering if you might have had a similar (or any other) difficulty with it. I would appreciate your feedback. Best regards, Phil

    Like

  10. Thanks Kristin, I’ve just sent a query to WordPress about it. I hope you have an excellent day! Phil

    Liked by 1 person

  11. derwombat says:

    Kristin,
    Love the bio. particularly the sinking boat analogy near the tail end. Mine is the Lifeboat theory. Who would you want in your Lifeboat to survive after the ship has gone down?
    Regards, Rod. Keep well and Safe.

    Like

    • I love your analogy Rod. Gee, I guess my ship didn’t come with life boats! These thoughts must have played in the back of my mind…. I’m a very strong swimmer 🙂
      Thanks for taking the time to read my Bio.

      Like

  12. Hi Kristin,
    Just wanted to stop by send you best wishes from California. Thanks for stopping by my photo blog. Can’t bring myself to call it a phlog – too close to something one of the cats might cough up.
    ~Amber

    Like

  13. souravteddy says:

    U hav a very inspiring bio mam and more inspiring is that u do not hesitate to share ur story with strangers like us.. anywazz thanks for making my blog worthy of ur likes.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. missamazon says:

    An interesting story and it’s wonderful how you have been able to make the most of your situation. My father was also adopted, but didn’t start his search until it was too late – his mother had died many years before and taken the identity of the father to her grave. I hope you still have a good relationship with your adoptive family? Good luck to you. G

    Like

    • Hi, thanks for taking the time to read my Bio and commenting. I am very close to my adoptive family. My mother and two sisters live within an hours drive and we regularly meet for some family occasion or another. As our kids are marrying and having kids of their own, our family sure is extending. There seems an endless precession of birthdays 🙂 I’m sorry to hear you father did not meet his natural mother. As much as I love my adoptive family to pieces and would never change a thing if it meant wiping those bonds and relationships, blood ties and knowing where my people came from was an uncontrollable yearning.

      Like

  15. babysteps22 says:

    I’m glad I stumbled on to this page. I hope your story continues to be fascinating in all aspects. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Thank for visiting my news group and all the likes. Just love your BIO and posts. Reblog them when they are written on acefriends.wordpress.com site. You really our fluid of thought. Regards Ian 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Ian for your interest in my blog. I’m really chuffed that you have reblogged. I enjoy your articles. I find most of my general news items on sites like yours which I much prefer over the mainstream stuff. You sift the chaff from the hay 🙂 Regards Kristin

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Dear Kristin, my apology for just reading your bio after having been following you for a while.. You have unique life story and great life experience. I imagine you as a strong woman. Thank you for sharing your inspiring life story 🙂 Best wishes 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am happy to share my story with anyone interested to know it. Thank you for taking the time to read my Bio and for your kind comments. You have some impressive achievements yourself and your sense of adventure emanates through your writing. 🙂

      Like

  18. pommepal says:

    An interesting life Kristin and written in a style that makes it compelling reading. Pleased to hear, after all the ups and downs life is treating you well now. Photography is certainly an obsession

    Like

  19. smbaird says:

    Yours is an extraordinary life! As I read through your bio, I thought, Wow, was a strong woman. That you could articulate everything so honestly is remarkable. Bravo! And school reports don’t really gauge a person’s intelligence… I think it’s more a reflection of their interest and tolerance for boredom.
    And thank you so much for your recent visit to my blog! I’m humbled and honored that you took the time to go through all those posts.

    Like

    • Hello Steven and thank you for taking the time to read my Bio. Over the years I have learnt “tact” but I do tell it how it is and my life is an open book so to speak. I would consider myself somewhat of a hypocrite and my children would agree. I have a “do as I say, not as I do” approach where they are concerned. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your writings and your photography. Merry Christmas to you and your Family 🙂

      Like

  20. hi kristin,
    very interesting and unusual life story.
    i was riveted to the end, good to know you cam up tops.
    ken

    Like

    • Hi Ken and thank you for taking the time to call in. My mother, sisters and I are planning to write a joint biography of our time spent in the Islands to give to our children. As each of us remembers different things we hope to give a young families perspective of our time there. We have started a memory journal to jot down memories as they come to us. We also have ‘brain storming” sessions which are fun. As one person remembers a particular event, it sparks the memories of the rest of us and we get a flood of flashbacks with many of us laughing and saying, “Oh my gosh, I had forgotten about that”. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Thank you Hilary 🙂

    Like

  22. Pingback: Anzac Day 2015 | Fluidicthought

  23. disperser says:

    Very interesting . . . and good on you for having a best friend. Outside my wife, that aspect of life

    Like

  24. juliav305 says:

    Just WOW…all I can say is you’re a survivor and an inspiration 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story.

    Like

  25. Hi Kristin! Thanks for liking on my blog again! I’ve been away for a fair bit. ( I can relate big time to your broken leg.) I’m back on my feet now and back behind the camera! …When I visited you last you didn’t have this extraordinary bio I don’t think. An amazing story. I met my father again after 25 years and had 4 wonderful years learning who he was, before he passed away. It’s such an unfathomable experience isn’t it? …Cheerios for a great weekend. CC

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello CC. I’m happy to read your are back on track (legs) and enjoying your camera. Since meeting my natural father last November and now in regular contact with my half siblings I feel so very luck. My children are also getting to know their uncles and aunties via FaceBook and photographs are being sent back and forth. Unfathomable experience is surely is! I’m really looking forward to going back to NZ and spending more time with my father and siblings. In the meantime, as my father does not use a computer, I’ve been writing to him and quite enjoy receiving old fashion mail 🙂 I’m very happy for you that you had the opportunity to get to know your father before he passed away. 4 years seems like such a short time. I suspect you treasure those times you had with him. Have a wonderful weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeh, glad I didn’t wait any longer.
        I hope you get over to NZ soon to catch up again. In the meantime, it’s a wonderful time to get to know each other. My Dad put me onto the family history when I was a teenager and it was great to share my discoveries with him. And it’s very addictive! Cheerios, CC

        Liked by 1 person

  26. I’m glad you found your way to my blog and we’ve connected. Thanks for sharing your personal history in your bio. You’re a gutsy lady and I look forward to sharing the passion for photography that we both have.

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