I try to keep my writing light-hearted. Thinking about it, I would say that pretty much reflects they type of person I am.  I could have a blog that only talks about the good stuff so I asked myself what do I want to share and how much. My answer was anything someone else might be interested in, which brings us to the subject of Death.

The Death of a love one and of course our own Death are inevitable encounters we will face. Last night my adoptive father unexpectedly passed away. I received a call this morning from the police who were at his home. They advised me of his passing and requesting I go there.

I dislike emotional carry on. Yes I cry, but not often and I certainly could not see myself wailing for days on end. This morning however, I could not stem the tears so needed to call MM (My Man) home from work to drive me.

I held Dads hand for a moment. I braced myself expecting him to be cold, but he wasn’t.

The police were waiting for me in the living room. They needed me to arrange an undertaker or if I didn’t have a preferred one, they could make the call for me. Let me see, preferred undertaker is not in my personal address book nor do I carry a business card for one. Am I the only person not carrying around these vital contact details?

Dad’s second wife donated her body to science when she passed away and I was pretty sure this was also Dad’s wish. One day when I was visiting him he said, “If anything happens the documents you need are all in here.” and pointed somewhere. I wasn’t paying much attention and said “Ok” moving onto some other less confronting topic. Today I needed to find his instructions because I didn’t want his body prepared if it was not to be viewed or buried. I wanted to ensure that his wishes were met.

We searched for about an hour before I asked the police to contact an undertaker for me. The undertaker arrived and explained that they would look after Dad’s body until I contact them with further instructions once I have found the documents I was looking for.

When the police, and undertaker left, we started looking again. The documents I needed were in a file I had already gone through but didn’t see probably due to the tears in my eyes. Dad does want his body to be donated to science and he does not want a funeral.

Once I learnt Dad had been playing pool with his buddies yesterday, a neighbour spoke with him in the evening and the same neighbour called in on him this morning and alerted the police, I felt much better. My emotion and tears were guilt and fear that he had been alone and suffering for days.

I’m dreading the next steps of sorting out his estate. He wasn’t as instructive in these matters as I had hoped and now I hold regret that I never sat down and had this conversation with him.

I took this picture of a father and daughter one day because I felt it reflected the special bond between fathers and daughters.

Father and Daughter

Rest In Peace Dad. 23/10/1936 – 04/04/2016


About fluidicthought

Random posts and photographs of life, travel and stuff.
This entry was posted in Philosophy, Photography, Relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to Death

  1. Pam says:

    I am so sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lubkin2013 says:

    My sincere condolences! I remember when my Dad died, after a long illness. The worst part was the shock of his ‘physical departure’. Perhaps this might help? As long as you continue to remember your Father, he will always be around!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So really sorry to read of your loss and l remember reading how close you were and though l cannot imagine how your are feeling you are in my prayers now and always as you will eventually gain strength from how you now feel ..God Bless Kristin .. Ian 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Experimental Ghost says:

    Condolences to you and your family Kristin. Take care


    • Thank you Adam, I appreciate you calling in and your condolences. Welcome home! Glad to see you two made it home safe and sound. Thanks for taking us along with you. Following your posts was like having a “Claytons” holiday and definitely put Tassie a couple of notches up on my bucket list.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Experimental Ghost says:

        Thanks Kristin and your welcome.

        Stay tuned though I still, haven’t downloaded all the photos from the camera yet.

        The journey continues…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. So sorry to read about the loss of your dad – sending you my deepest sympathies.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah, many good thoughts to you, my blogging friend.
    My husband died eighteen months ago. Grief is a confusing and challenging process and I send you strength.
    Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Jennifer, I’m sorry for your loss and appreciate you lending me your support. As I’m informing more family members the more overwhelming it’s becoming. I received a text from a sibling first thing this morning wanting to know when we can go through his personal items & pack up his home. I can’t even think about that right now & see no need to rush through this process. First thing is first & in my mind that is to ensure his body gets to where he wanted it to go. The rest of it will happen in due course. I don’t want to be pressured or dragged through this so quickly my head spins & leaves me feeling like a hare caught in headlights.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m very sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. pike says:

    It is sad. Thank you for sharing. Take care of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Best wishes Kristin and I’m thinking of you in your loss. As Rainee commented – thanks for sharing your experience. I will continue to reflect on your post. Phil

    Liked by 1 person

  10. scifihammy says:

    It is always a shock when someone passes suddenly. No-one ever knows what to do – and no, we don’t carry round the undertaker’s phone number.
    I’m glad that your Dad was living his life normally right up to the end. It definitely helps with the grieving process to know that.
    There will be so much stuff to do during the next few weeks, and after. Try to take time for yourself to grieve and know that it may take years, but it will get better.
    My condolences to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. disperser says:

    Can’t very well say like. My condolences for your loss . . . and a piece of music that is supposed to be played at my funeral (actually, a gathering; no funeral for me) and which we’ve played on the few occasions when we’ve lost someone. Don’t know if you’ll like it, but it has comforted us on a few occasions.

    Note: I don’t particularly ascribe to an afterlife; I take the words figuratively, not literally.


  12. Rainee says:

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I don’t think we are ever really ready for stuff like this. Take care and I hope you find peace and comfort xx

    Liked by 1 person

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